A recent Georgetowner newspaper advice column took on the question of what a person should do when a lie started to get out of control. The writer takes responsibility for the mistake of lying in the first place, but wonders what to do since coming clean will likely end a deep friendship. What would you do? While the idea of having a deep heart to heart with the friend could lead to a transformed relationship with that person, we only can predict our own reaction in that situation - friend could disappoint us. That's why it is really important to be very clear with yourself about how you might react in either situation, before having the conversation. Read the whole article here.
This Georgetowner advice column question came in all caps from a happily married woman who has been propositioned multiple times by her friends' husbands. Great question - what is happening? I went back to Esther Perel and her research on the reasons happily married people seek affairs, and her conclusions aren't always what you might think. Check our her TED Talk here and read my full column here.
A recent Georgetowner advice column let me spend some time thinking about what happens when a more extroverted woman marries an introverted man, and then grieves what she perceives as his lack of friendships. I was able to put into words the warning that unless her husband directly asked her for help, she needed to consider why the circumstances were so hard for her. Read my full column here.
I hear this complaint in my office quite often - my spouse doesn't listen to me. I recently received a question for my Georgetowner advice column that gave me the chance to talk it through. The bottom line is that we don't always hear our partner. There are myriad reasons for this, but at the end of the day, it has an impact on the other person. When trying to communicate that impact, we must be attuned to how that message is coming across. If we are hurt and then convey that through attacking anger, the response is going to be reactive and defensive. But if we take the time to process how this experience makes us really feel - on the inside - and then deliver that message to our partner, s/he may respond differently.
Now that we're all in the throes of Back to School time, I am reminded of a post I wrote a few years ago for the DC Urban Moms and Dads website - a short course on how to protect your relationship during this very busy season. Check it out here.