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Is He Forgetful or Just Not Listening?

I hear this complaint in my office quite often - my spouse doesn't listen to me. I recently received a question for my Georgetowner advice column that gave me the chance to talk it through. The bottom line is that we don't always hear our partner. There are myriad reasons for this, but at the end of the day, it has an impact on the other person. When trying to communicate that impact, we must be attuned to how that message is coming across. If we are hurt and then convey that through attacking anger, the response is going to be reactive and defensive. But if we take the time to process how this experience makes us really feel - on the inside - and then deliver that message to our partner, s/he may respond differently.

Read the question and answer here.