Entries in infidelity (7)


WaPo asks me, what's an emotional affair?

I was thrilled to tackle this topic in Lisa Bonos' excellent "Solo-ish" blog at We've all heard the term "emotional affair," but what are the parameters? I have met with countless clients wondering if the connection they feel to a "work wife" or old high school love might be more than just a friendship. Meanwhile, I've seen more and more couples in my office facing the attachment injury caused when one partner goes elsewhere to have his/her emotional needs met. Read the entire piece here.


Why Are Her Friends' Husbands Hitting On Her?

This Georgetowner advice column question came in all caps from a happily married woman who has been propositioned multiple times by her friends' husbands. Great question - what is happening? I went back to Esther Perel and her research on the reasons happily married people seek affairs, and her conclusions aren't always what you might think. Check our her TED Talk here and read my full column here.


Are some people just cheaters?

This is the question I received as part of my biweekly advice column in The Georgetowner newspaper. I have heard it a few times in my office, as well. My answer is no (you can read the whole thing here). But there are many layers to this question and I think the incredible Esther Perel has a pretty excellent line on it. Her recent Ted Talk about infidelity is eye-opening to anyone with a snap judgment about what you should and should not do in relationships. Take 20 minutes to watch her and see if you agree!


After the Affair - Too Soon for Therapy?

The most recent "Murphy's Love" column in the Georgetowner includes a question about getting someone into couples therapy after an affair was discovered. Then, a (married) teacher fields a date request from a student's father. Read the full article here.


What Should Huma Do?

Sally Quinn offers some interesting insights about the difference between forgiveness and forgetting in this article. It reminded me of a quote that's being forwarded on one of the Imago listservs this week:

"Forgiveness never makes a wrong act right, nor does forgiveness condone or excuse the wrong act. Forgiveness defines who you are; it does not redefine the other’s wrongful act as right."

 -Dick Tibbets, Ph.D.